Recently, a friend posted crocheted reusable water balloons on our Facebook group:

All I had to do was look at the picture and I was like:

Actually, at first I was going to buy some on Etsy because it seemed like they were cheap. But then when you actually look at the prices, they were way too expensive for me, so then it was CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am not a gifted crocheter. My grandma (who passed this summer), used to crochet the tops of dish towels so they would hook around the oven handle or a drawer handle.
In a full confession and being completely honest…… as a teenager…..I thought they were ugly.
Maybe it’s because most of the women in my family had like “country scenes” with ducks and snowmen or something like that in them. (Sorry Mom…..but Hi Mom!)
Plus….I always kind of felt like the loop that my grandma would crochet at at the end looked rather….ahem….phallic…..(picture coming up).
But while I taught outdoor education in my early 20’s and when I would visit her on weekends in college, I had one night where she was crocheting some dish towels and I realized that this may be my one chance to learn how to crochet these dish towels from my grandma.
I was all about learning and trying everything I could in my 20’s – something I’m trying to get back to.
So after a brief shopping trip to Kohl’s to buy some dish towels, we sat in her living room watching reruns of Lawrence Welk and Antiques Roadshow and she taught me how to crochet the tops of a dish towel while I took detailed notes.

(I crocheted the one on the left and the purple towel is one my grandma crocheted….and therefore I may never use…..)
However, my notes were like take the loop and make another loop and loop it up. Wrap your hook and pull through 2, then turn it around in a circle. And I drew pictures to help me remember and I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who could ever decipher these directions.
So, even though I think I’m totally amazing and talented and can crochet….yeah, I have no idea how to read crocheting directions. At all.
I prefer to crochet in rows. They’re simple. And I crochet for function – like dish towels and dish rags:

Balloons are most definitely round.
I CANNOT DO ROUND. Wow….it is a challenge. Not to mention, trying to decipher the crocheting directions on the website for the water balloons – well, I had to look up each of the stitches individually on a youtube video because I had no idea how to do a slip stitch or how to do a dc2tog (what in the world is a tog???).
Also, I was attempting to crochet my first balloon as I was also playing Throw Throw Burrito with my family at my nephew’s birthday party. So I was looking up these videos while people were having throwing burrito duels and I got a lot of weird looks and comments from my family.
It’s expected. 🙂
So my first water balloon took me a long time. Several hours from start to finish due to a taco buffet and kids playing outside and getting stung multiple times. Oh, and my 2 year old deciding that the massive ball of yarn used for these water balloons is an excellent play toy and starting rolling it around and batting at it with his feet like he was a cat hyped up on catnip who had never seen anything so amazing before in his life.
Do you see his feet next to my yarn ball taking a brief pause as he tried to steal a burrito from the table?

Yeah…..my balloon wasn’t great. I really tried to stretch this out to give it some semblance of a water balloon for this picture.

But the whole point of a water balloon is to focus on soaking your opponents as much as possible. I’m pretty sure that no one in my family – my kids or nephews or ruthless siblings (including the ones who married in) – are going to pause during a water balloon battle to be like, “Wow Julie, it really looks like you missed a stitch here and your tension on row 3 compared to row 1 just really isn’t working for me”.
And if they decide to do that…..they will feel my wrath. Which is about as scary as a cute fluffy bunny baby.
My next water balloon was much faster. I didn’t have to look up the stitches this time and the pattern is so simple, I had it memorized after making one:

Told ya – massive yarn ball.
I had a 3rd one made by that evening although I still wasn’t thrilled with how mine were turning out. I mean, when I get several rows down, all I can think is that they look like little asparagus hats for pet gerbils.

I mean – could there be a market out there for gerbil asparagus hats??? I need to check up on that because with a little bit of elastic, I think these suckers could be in high demand.
The really cool thing about crocheting these is that they do go pretty quickly. I haven’t exactly timed myself, but I think I’m probably around 20-30 minutes for one, depending on how many times my husband and/or children want to talk to me. And due to interruptions, and my lack of talent, I don’t think I’ve crocheted a single one according to the pattern yet.
But, it’s also not the easiest. I mean this yarn ball requires it’s own chair:

Also, when I’ve crocheted other things (only dish towels and dish rags), it’s been easy to count the stitches and know right where I am. The Bernat yarn used for these water balloons is well….rough.
It is so fuzzy that all I can think of when I crochet with it is that I’m crocheting with Muppet fur. Thankfully, Kermit is a slightly different shade of green or I would constantly be worried that he was shredded to make this yarn. The stitches all seem to blend together in this soft, fuzzy mass and between the asparagus hats and the Muppet references, it’s a constant battle for whether the theme to the Muppet show is playing in my head or the theme to Veggie Tales.
At the time of this writing (the current time is 10:30 PM), I have 4 made. Or as my husband puts it, time for a battle because we can each have one. For the record, I did NOT try to fluff these to make them look like balloons.

If you know me at all, you must know how challenging it is for me right now to not be buying this yarn in every single color so that I can alternate the color of the balloons I crochet – of course, in rainbow order. This yarn takes up so much space that I am DETERMINED to be an adult and use all the yarn per my one skein before I purchase another one.
It’s slowly killing me inside. I want the rainbow now.
Oh, and for the record – I used the pattern straight from Left in Knots (I mean not exactly, because I seriously have no idea if I actually do 16 stitches in Rows 3 and 4….too much fuzz…..) and she has some excellent videos that show you EXACTLY what to do, so if you have any interest, head on over there and check it out.
And of course, I’ll post a rainbow when I get to that point….sigh…..
















































































